Thu
May
28
Its way better this way. I feel great already, I’m happy. I hope you do too, really. We both need to break away, well mostly just me, you weren’t there to begin with. No more tears are coming out of me, just smiles :) :) :) :)
I’ve got my mind set, & no more falling back. I’m gone gone gone!
if you’re there god, THANK YOU FOR HELPIN’ THIS SILLY GIRL OUT.
“ You can only see as far as you think
Tue
May
26
Right now, I’m at a point in my life where I don’t really know what to do. There’s a million turns I could take, but what if there’s a consequence for each. Maybe I spend too much time worrying and too much time thinking as well. I guess I should stop worrying about what might hold my heart down and start paying attention to whats kept me standing up. I know that things could be much worse than they are, and I’m truly glad that they’re not. It just feels like the older I get, the harder everything gets. I know right from wrong, but sometimes wrong feels too good to make it right. And sometimes, I just don’t know how much more I can take. Maybe in a way I geuss that’s all I really can do. I hide a lot of this, afraid of the reaction I might recieve. And that may be a personal problem But I don’t know exactly how to react myself. There’s a deeper side of me that I keep hidden away. Just because I laugh a lot doesn’t mean I’m happy and just because I look okay doesn’t mean that I am. Just because no one sees me cry doesn’t mean that I’m not hurt, and it sure as hell doesn’t mean that I don’t cry. I just keep telling myself that there will be a significant moment when I finally know what to do; but waiting for that moment is like waiting for rain in a drought.
Sometimes you just have to step out of who you are currently, and remember who you were, where you want to go, and who you want to be. I’ve been making all the wrong changes. I need to stop procrastinating, and get to the right ones!
I tend to care too much for people who don’t matter, not that I need them, but because thats just who I am. And do you know those people who put everything off til the last moment when its too late? Well I’m number one on that most wanted list. I always get caught up in situations that I shouldn’t, ya know?I know I’ve said this so so so many times before but I’m putting an end to all of this, as of right now.
Changes made for the better. And I’m already happier.
See ya!
I will not remember you by all of my misfortunes since you were here. Nor all the mistakes I made, friends I lost, sorrows I felt. On the contrary I will remember you, 2008, for the first time I have ever experienced life. When I reflect on what happened this past year, the moments that changed me. I think of all the times my world felt heavy, when it was dark and alone. But what I’ve missed was that I was never alone even in the most depressing of moments. For that I am insanely thankful for all the comfort and good times with my friends and family. I think I have dwelled too much on someone I lost a long time ago, which caused me to be so blind. I will never be so low in my life again and give so much love for someone who’s not even there anymore. 2008, I have felt how it is to loose everything. I have met people who have nothing else to live for. What can I say 2008? We had many good times… It wasn’t the drugs, the cheap thrills, failed sobriety, late nights, early mornings that made you. It was that first cigarette to a new life, uncontrollable laughter, the endless amount of coffee and conversation that made you, dear 2008. I miss you, but I will never look back again….That I promise.
